Heart and Soul: Appreciating Fine Art and Artists

Tonight Dean and I visited the art studio of our friend, Jeff Hein. Click >> here<<  to see his website.  We met Jeff and his wife, Jen when we were first married and lived downtown.  We were all in the same LDS Ward (congregation).  Jeff taught our Sunday School class, and I gained a lot of respect for him while I listened and participated in those classes.  When I learned that Jeff was an artist, I didn't necessarily have more respect for him, but it was different.  You wouldn't know that he's a phenomenal talent.  He's super cool and way chill about the whole thing.

I have always been a fan of fine art; I think my time in Europe helped my appreciation grow.  You don't get much exposure to fine art in Pekin, Illinois.  One of my favorite places in Chicago is the Art Institute---where I could stare for hours at the impressionist artwork.  I saw a Van Gough exhibit that the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my friend Steve in 1999.  I have been to the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, FL.  Dali is not necessarily fine art, but viewing his pieces really opened my mind.  I saw a Picasso exhibit in Hungary, and that caused me to wonder if I was missing a few boobs on my own torso....Picasso loves his boobs.  And in a completely inappropriate segue, I've been to the Vatican museum to see all of the emasculated marble, male statues.  I've seen the Sistine Chapel with my own eyes.

I know I'm biased, but I've got to tell you that I hold Jeff in regard with the masters with respect to his talent.  I have a copy of one of Jeff's paintings on the wall in my office, and I look at it every single day.  The painting tonight was one of Christ.  It was commissioned for the LDS Temple in Boise, Idaho.  It was brilliant!  It will bring people a lot of joy.  He is working on two other commissioned pieces for the Honduras Temple, and I hope to see those when they are complete, too. 

You know what I appreciate most about Jeff?  When Bradley was 12 years old, he was going through some really rough times.  Jeff, at that time, had an art class that he offered on Thursday nights.  Bradley had expressed some interest in art, and I thought that if he could have some structure that he could explore his talent...and learn from Jeff.  Jeff had never allowed a child that young to join his class, but he made an exception for Bradley.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. 

I wish that I could tell you that Bradley discovered a miraculous talent during his time at art class, but he didn't.  That's OK.  It was important to me and Dean to give him the opportunity to explore his talent.  Jeff was willing to give Bradley every opportunity that Bradley wanted to pursue, and I appreciate that.

When Bradley experienced some serious trouble as a young teen, Jeff was one of the people that I called.  I wanted him to know what was going on with Bradley so that he could be a positive influence.  I am a big believer that "it takes a village," and Dean and I decided that Bradley's troubles were beyond our capacity as parents...we couldn't manage them alone.  We enlisted several trusted adults in Bradley's life with whom to share his struggles so that he would have a support group.

Tonight when I walked into Jeff's studio (and I haven't seen him in many years), I said, "Hi Jeff, Wendy Davis..." He said, "I can't believe you just introduced yourself.  I know who you are!"  Well, ya know...he's kind of a big deal, and he kind of had some star-struck fans there....and I didn't want to assume.  It didn't surprise me one bit that he inquired about Bradley right away.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

There are many qualities of great artists that the experts have debated for centuries.  I can tell you what makes Jeff one of my very favorite artist....more than anything...it is the person he is and how he represents that in his art.  And I seriously appreciate how he was important in Bradley's life at a crucial time.

One BIG birthday bash...

We have six birthdays between December 18th and April 23rd....we are heavily stacked at the beginning of the year. Add to the mix Garrett and Elise (both in April), we've got 8 birthdays in five months. So, this year Mariah asked if we could go to Benihana for our birthdays.  She missed the December Benihana event.  We went..we ate...we had a really good time! 

Mariah and Garrett (can I tell you that they REALLY enjoyed the meal and themselves)

Me and Riah

Bradley and Elise

Dom and Dean

Elle was missing...she was at a softball tournament in St. George.  It wasn't all tragedy...at least Elle was there for the December Benihana fest.

Part of the fun of Benihana is watching the making of the food. Our guy was cute...he put the fried rice in the shape of a heart and made the heart "beat" with the spatula.

Yummy veggies and shrimp appetizers

Add the seafood and chicken

Add the red meat...

The cheesy and requisite birthday drum and tambourine

Ice cream and candles for all birthday celebrants.

Extinguishing the candles

Back at home....a cake for Bradley (made by Dom)  See everyone laughing?  What you can't see is that Garrett is just out of this picture...and for sure he has said something hilarious...he's always saying hilarious things.

If you only knew the escapade it was getting those candles lit, you would understand why I took the action shots of the candles being blown out.  Let's just say that kindling and flint is not an effective method for candle lighting.

 

Dean and Bradley

Swearing in Day...

On August 16, 2010 Bradley officially enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. This was not something that was random or not thought through. Bradley has been considering the Corps for over a year. In fact, as we helped him plan what he might do after high school, he considered a lot of different options. The military just seemed "right" for him. On his 18th birthday, we took him down to the recruiting office, and the serious process really started then.

Joining the Corps was contingent upon receiving a high school diploma. Once that was accomplished in early August, the rest fell into place for him. August 16th is our anniversary, so we'll remember this day quite easily. Dean and I changed our anniversary plans just a bit to incorporate a visit to the military processing center...with time to spare before we witnessed this.

"I, Bradley Alexander Davis, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

This is Sgt. Pottin (aka in our family as Sgt. Harry Potter, but he seriously hated the one and only time I called him that to his face...whoopsie!)

Proud papa. Dean and I are very proud of Bradley's decision. He's had a rough go of life for most of his adolescence. Some rough patches were brought on by himself but others were external factors over which he had no control. He's come at life the hard way. We are proud of his choice and his decision to serve. He will be GREAT at whatever he chooses to do with his life, and for this season, we're confident that he'll be a great Marine.

Mariah really wanted to be there, but unfortunately, we couldn't manage to get from Park City, pick up the girls, get Mariah AND get back in time. She'll be there for the send off and for graduation day, though!

Let me say this in closing. I have spent years of my life writing about the Iraq war and how much I disagree with it. Never mistake my dissatisfaction with an administration as criticism for the US Military. I said as much in my thesis. I am very, very proud of Bradley. His grandfather (Mike) was in the Navy, his great-grandpa Denkins was a career military man, many people in my family have served in the military for generations. I'm proud of them all. I may rant about this political thing or that war, but I will always be proud of Bradley and his involvement in the military. We love you Bradley and are very excited for your future!

"I love those shoes....."

I found something today that brought back a memory worth sharing. When Bradley graduated from the 6th Grade, I promised him we would go shoe shopping. The kid loved his shoes more than any woman I know. Seriously, he knew shoes like he knows cars...and he can look at any car from a distance and tell you all kinds of things about it.

I went with him to the mall...which is right then and there a sacrifice. I hate the mall. We went to Footlocker where he found his dream shoes. They were a black pair of Jordans that were really nice. He tried on the first shoe, and it was lovely. Then the store clerk pulled out the second shoe, and it was red. I mentioned that he needed the matching shoe. I was informed that the shoe he pulled out WAS the match. Yep, it was one black shoe, one red shoe with the trademark 2 and 3 one the left and right shoe, respectively.

I recall being a bit aghast that they would actually design mismatching shoes, but I was assured that I was the one out of the loop and that these shoes were the new thing. Bradley loved these shoes. I mean, he really loved the shoes. I had allocated $50.00 for the purchase of new athletic footwear, and this blew the budget by almost 100%. After a slew of promises, I agreed to buy the shoes on one condition; he had to agree to accept a reduced allowance for the rest of the summer. Since I'm in sales, I made him fill out an impromptu contract and sign it for me.

This is what I found today:
This was our written contract (which is missing one key word). I also had the sales guy sign the contract as a witness; that is his name in the upper right hand corner. (And I wonder why my kids all need therapy!) I'm sure I held him to it, and he was a willing participant. He LOVED those shoes.

Several weeks into our contract, he did something wrong...I can't remember any of the details now, but he needed to have a consequence. We tried to think of what would have meaning to him to so that he would feel a bit uncomfortable with the punishment...and so that he wouldn't want to do whatever it was again. He was 12 at the time. We told him that he would have his shoes taken away for a week (or whatever it was). He accepted his punishment and went to his room.

Several minutes later, I heard him sobbing in his room. I mean, full on body shakes, tears, leaned up against the wall with his head buried in the crook of his arm. I went into his room to ask him what was the matter. I thought that maybe his mother had called; that always made him cry because he missed Seattle so much. I remember saying, "Did your mom call?" "What is wrong?"

Through his tears he said in that choppy voice you have when you are all worked up, "I....love....those....shoes....." More crying.

It about broke my freaking heart.

Dean came in to see what was the matter. I told him. Dean looked at me and said, "Well, was this his first offense? Maybe the punishment didn't really fit the crime." Trust me, I'm sure that the punishment did fit the crime, but at this point in time, mercy was kicking in over justice. Right on the spot, we readjusted our punishment and gave him a different consequence with the promise that next time he did whatever it was he had done that he would risk losing his beloved shoes.

I love that story for so many reasons. That kid LOVED those shoes. He wore them until they didn't fit anymore. I love those days when it was easy to figure out what mattered to him and try and motivate him with those things that mattered to him. He's always worn two different color socks; that is his "thing." The two colored shoes just fit naturally. I've told that story plenty of times when I talk about justice vs mercy. As one who is all about the justice and slim on the mercy, it's a nice reminder. I also love that he loved those shoes so much that he spilt tears for them. Carrie Bradshaw would be proud!

The good, the bad and the ugly....

Since the inception of this family blog, I've kept it fairly upbeat and positive choosing to air my opinions on my personal blog. I grapple sometimes with whether or not I should share "less favorable" family news on the blog, and I have chosen not to. Trust me, there are A LOT of unfavorable posts that could have made it on here.

I often wonder if I'm creating a false image of who our family is. I don't think so. I consider this more of a photo journal rather than a newsy blog about the goings on in our family. Our family is FAR from perfect. We have just as many heartaches and sorrows as we do picture perfect moments. We have fights just like every other family does. We have struggles with our kids....just like every other family does. Having kids the age we do, we also tend to have a lot of extraneous drama going on. Any given day is a hodge podge of the good, the bad and the ugly. In the spirit of full disclosure, I think it's important to put that out there.

I don't want to go on with this blog pretending like all is well in our family. It's not. There has been a major disruption lately, and I wanted to blog about it. If I really began to express my feelings about it, I would never stop. So, I won't. Suffice it to say that our oldest son, Bradley, has moved out. It's been a little over three weeks since he first left.

He has desired his independence and his freedom from our rules and our standards of accountability for a long time. We always intended for him to move on after he graduated from high school. His premature departure created more angst in our family than was necessary, but it is what it is. He currently is staying in a room with our next door neighbors, Kim and Doreen. I can't tell you how thankful I am for these women. They care about Bradley, and they have been absolutely wonderful to him. I know that he is safe, and above all else, that is most important.

Bradley did not graduate from high school yesterday with his class. He failed to meet the requirements necessary for that to happen. I can't even tell you the heartache that this caused in our family. We so wanted him to graduate from high school. Dean and I have worked so hard over his junior high and high school career to try and help him. We have gone to extreme measures at times to help him get on the right path and ensure that he had more choices rather than fewer choices in his youth. For him to fall short in the last quarter of his high school career was beyond disappointing.

Every person has his right to make choices in this life. As parents we are only doing the best we can to teach them, guide them and help them. The child must do his part as well.

I deeply hope for Bradley that he figures our who he is. I hope that he chooses to live an authentic and honest life some day. I hope that he figures out how love is different than teenage lustful desires and "being in love." I hope that he gets his high school diploma. I hope that once he finds out who he is that he is true to that person. Interestingly, these are the same things that I have hoped for Bradley for a long, long time. We've been through a lot with him, and we have drug him through kicking and screaming (in his passive aggressive way) for the last 6 years.

I have done all that I can do for Bradley. I have given all I have to give, and my cup is empty. For now, I am relying on the generosity of others to buoy me up. A sweet woman from church came to me a few weeks ago and said, "My cup runneth over, and what extra I have, I share with you." It was once of the most charitable things that someone said to me in a very long time. My friends and extended family have been wonderful to me and my family. There is not a true friend who knows me and Dean who doesn't know how hard we have worked to help this child.

So, as he moves on, it is with mixed emotions. I'm anxious for the day that he moves away from the neighbor's house and puts action to all of his rhetoric. He hasn't really moved out...he's moved next door. I can't wait until he gets a job, moves out on his own and really, really, really starts earning his own way in the world. He claims that he can do it, and we are hopeful that he can. We won't know until others stop enabling him, stop giving him extra chances and stop taking care of him. It is probable that this pattern will continue for him for quite some time though, regrettably.

I'm anxious to see what kind of man that he will be, and I hope above all hopes that I'm the kind of woman who can accept the person he chooses to be.

Being a parent is tough. Being a step-parent is tougher. Being married to Dean and being given the opportunity to parent these four kids had provided me a set of experiences that I could never have had in any other way. I have learned more about myself than I ever dreamed I would. I have grown closer to God because of my experience as a parent. I have a treasure chest full of life experience because of this parenting opportunity. So, through the good, the bad and the ugly, I'm grateful for that.

Bradley's Birthday and Elle's Concert

At the plate...

This has been a CRAZY Baseball/Softball season for Jordan High. We had a mild winter, and when the season finally began in March, the weather was crazy. There was wind, rain, snow. It began snowing on April 1st and lasted through May. Here are a rare few photos of Bradley pitching.

He began pitching for the JV then late in the season, he pitched a few times for the Varsity.

Fundraising and Feather River

I had the wonderful opportunity to teach an on-line class at Feather River College this past term. (It was actually a hybrid class...part in person...part on-line). It was an wonderful opportunity in every way. I've wanted to teach on-line since I received my masters degree on-line. I was able to take the best of my professional expertise combined with my passion for education and facilitate a course for the good people in Quincy, California.

If you've never heard of Quincy, you're missing out. It's nestled in the mountains of California about an hour and a half outside of Reno. It's a small, tight-knit community of learners, faculty and staff all working for the betterment of the students and the community.

This is a picture of my class (with me). I'm so proud of them and the ideas generated in such a short period of time!

We got them these shirts for their final. They were a big hit!

I also brought Bradley with me to check out the campus and the baseball program while we were there. The following are a few pics of our "Thursday Drive" in Plumas County. It is absolutely gorgeous!

Prom Night 2009

Friday, March 27th was Bradley's Junior prom. He went with his girlfriend, Toli, and they had a good time. At the last minute, there was a bit of drama around dinner plans, so I (Wendy) stepped in and just took over. We took them to La Caille. For those of you who are not from Utah, this is a fabulous place not far from where we live. The pictures actually do it justice in this case. Here are a few mementos from the night.

I have no idea why he is sticking his tongue out...except sometimes he does that when he laughs. I had to get the mom in the pic helping with the boutineer...classic...the mom usually has to help.

Thankfully, the wrist corsage is much easier to manage.

Don't they look great! It was VERY cold!

At dinner.

Let's just say that prom costs too much, creates unnecessary drama and is an antiquated teenage ritual. But, "you only have one Junior prom, right?" So we keep this tradition alive no matter how much drama and money it costs. One junior prom down...three more to go!

Not for the faint of heart...disclaimer....Bradley's surgery photos

About 6 months ago, I noticed a skin abnormality on Mariah's neck turned a dark color. I took her to the doctor and insisted that he biopsy it. He didn't want to. After a cursory examination, my doctor (who I love, by the way) claimed that the abnormality was simply vascular in nature and that I had nothing to worry about. I pushed.

The biopsy results showed cancerous cells. We went back in and had a larger section removed from Mariah's neck.

This got Bradley worried because he has similar skin abnormalities. We took him to a dermatologist, and a biopsy of his spots also proved to have cancerous cells. You guessed it. We went back in for a minor surgery to remove the affected area.

The surgery was fascinating in the execution and accuracy. The dermatologist is a skilled professional, and there will be minimal scaring.

The message here.....WEAR SUNSCREEN! These kiddos are 15 and 17, respectively. They are fair skinned, red-headed kids who love to have a tan. Unfortunately, their pigmentation does not lend itself well to tanning. Burning, yes. Tanning, no. They think they are invincible, but we've really tried to impress upon them how serious skin cancers are. I have no idea if the message is sticking, but I hope it does.

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This first pic is what it looks like after the numbing agent is doing its job. The red dots are needle marks. The other dots are enlarged pores from the lytocane.

This picture is the initial incision.

It was truly alarming to see how deep the incision was. The doctor told me that I could watch as long as I wasn't going to pass out (and he was serious).

This site almost did me in. It's about 1/4 of an inch deep. The dermis layer was much thicker than I thought it was. The slightly yellowish layer at the bottom is actually fat.

The next few pictures are the stitches.

All done!

He gets his stitches out on Monday, March 30th!

Bradley, the Little Leprechaun, Turns 17 on March 17th

It's been several years since Bradley has had a proper birthday party, so this year we all had a "somewhat of a surprise" dinner gathering. I wouldn't really call it a party. His requests were simple: Chicken caserole (done), cookie dough ice cream (Ben and Jerry's, done), and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (I made a tower of cookies to form a "cookie cake" (done).

What is a party without some balloons?

The "cookie cake."

The requisite "blowing out the candles."

A fun shot of Toli.

Mariah in her St. Paddy's Day garb.