A Danley Family Christmas Tradition

I wrote this for my kid brother, Adam, and gave it to him on Christmas Eve. He's 14 years younger than me, and we didn't grow up together. Unfortunately, he also never experienced these family traditions (and other family-isms). It's so important that we write down these kinds of things! My kids are ALWAYS asking us to tell stories about them when they were little. They love hearing the stories (and I'm amazed that they don't remember!)

This story refers to my paternal grandparents who are Eugene Howard Danley and Mildred Smith Danley. They died in 1981 and 1987, respectively.

Enjoy this glimpse into my past....

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I never knew my grandparents to have much money. That was because they didn’t. My earliest memories are of visiting my Grandma and Grandpa Danley in public housing on the South Side of Peoria. I was too young to know that it was public housing. It didn’t matter to me. It was Grandma and Grandpa Danley.

In the summertime, Grandpa never wore clothes. It sounds a bit ridiculous today, but he was often found sitting at the kitchen table in his underwear. It wasn’t gross or perverted. It was, quite simply, cooler that way. To the best of my recollection, there was no “central air” in the projects, and I don’t even think that they had an air conditioner. If I had to guess, they probably had those old school box fans to cool the place down. Hence, Grandpa in his underwear.

I’d always go and give Grandpa a kiss, and he was ALWAYS happy to see his grandkids.

ALWAYS.

If he knew I was coming, he would shave (because I hated his mid-day stubble).

I digress. This is a story about a very important Danley Family Tradition.

Because there was not a lot of money and because there were a lot of grandkids, Grandma and Grandpa had to be judicious in their gift giving. Every grandchild received a two-dollar bill every single year. It was in a money holder (the kind with the circle cut out so you could see the mug of Thomas Jefferson). This was the only Christmas gift I ever received from Grandma and Grandpa Danley. I looked forward to it every year. It meant a lot to me. I loved getting that two dollar bill. I wish I could tell you that I saved them all, but I didn’t. I spent every single one of them.

I was 17 the year grandma died, and although I don’t remember it, I’m confident that I received my last two dollar bill from her during my 16th Christmas.

Because funds were low, Grandma always made fudge for the families. Every family got one Christmas tin of “Grandma’s Fudge.” This was a treat even more anticipated than the two dollar bills. I looked forward to that fudge every single year. Each piece of fudge was cut into a bite sized piece and wrapped in tin foil. The pieces were then placed in the tins, and the tins were given to the families. I don’t know if it was because Grandma made the fudge or what, but that fudge was delicious to me. For years after Grandma died, other family members tried to carry on the tradition of the fudge, but it was never quite the same.

The fudge was made with “marshmallow fluff.” Yes, it is a real product. It comes in a jar, and it’s essentially whipped marshmallows. This is the recipe. This is the new, updated version of the same recipe from the http://www.marshmellowfluff.com/ website. The differences in the recipes are probably accounted for in the size of the jar of fluff (if I had to guess). The ingredients are the same, the quantities are just different.

Never-Fail-Fudge

2 1/2 c. sugar
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 stick butter or margarine
15 oz. can evaporated milk (2/3 c.)
1 Jar (7 1/2oz) Marshmallow Fluff
3/4 tsp. vanilla
1 12-oz. package semi-sweet chocolate pieces
1 /2 c. chopped walnuts

Grease a 9-inch square baking pan; set aside. In large saucepan combine the first 5 ingredients. Stir over low heat until blended. Increase heat to Medium and bring to a full-rolling boil being careful not to mistake escaping air bubbles for boiling. Boil slowly, stirring constantly for 5 minutes (use Soft-Ball test). Remove from heat, stir in vanilla and chocolate until chocolate is melted. Add nuts. Turn into greased pan and cool. Makes 2 1/2 pounds.

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At this point in time, I gave my brother a 2 dollar bill, and I promised to make the fudge next year so that we could re-establish this tradition.

Best Christmas Pageant Ever

We have a tradition at our house. I can't remember exactly how it began, but that's not really important. Each year we read this book:Each year, we get just a bit of resistance, but not too much. This year Dom said, "Why do we have to read this book every year?" We said, "Because it's what we do; it's our tradition."

If you haven't read the book, you should. It's narrated by an elementary school girl and chronicles her interactions with an unruly gaggle of neighbor kids called "The Herdmans." Due to an unfortunate turn of events, the narrator's mother has been put in charge of the annual church Christmas pageant. I don't care who you are, this story is funny. We laugh and laugh every single year.

This year, it is only Dean, me, Dom and Elle reading the book. Bradley practically lives at his girlfriend's house and only shows up to sleep and eat some stuff once a day. Mariah is always busy with work when we want to read, so it's just the four of us this year. It's no less meaningful.


I hope you have meaningful traditions with your family. I fully anticipate that, one day, I will be reading this book to grandchildren.

And as Gladys Herdman would say, "Hey, Unto you a child is born!" Merry Christmas!!!

My Thanksgiving Memory

Dean and I just had our 6th Thanksgiving together, and it was our 5th Thanksgiving in a row with the kids. For all but one of those, we've cooked our own dinner at home. We've got our Thanksgiving routine down, and by default, created our own tradition.

Dean always makes the turkey.
Elle always sets the table.
Bradley is always our "whatever you need" guy.
I always make the mashed potatoes.
Domi is the "will you go get this" runner.
Mariah avoids the kitchen at all costs.

This is the one time that we break out the "good dishes" and bust out the campaign glasses (Sparkling cider). We have a nice table cloth and cloth napkins. Elle sets out candles. We dust off the "real" silver silverware. It's a nice presentation, and it has become our tradition.

Today (as with every year) we went around the table and mentioned what we were thankful for. Each year the list includes family and friends. As we devoured our meal, I asked each person about their favorite Thanksgiving memory. Every single person mentioned a memory with extended family. The kids all mentioned their grandparents in Washington and the fond memories they have of Thanksgiving meal preparations. Dean mentioned Thanksgivings in Kansas when he was a kid. My favorite Thanksgiving memory also occurred during my young childhood.

It was Thanksgiving 1975. My mom, my dad, my sister and I lived in Millington, Tennessee. My parents came and got me out of Kindergarten early that day so that we could make the trip to Illinois for Thanksgiving. My teacher sent me home with all of the handmade Thanksgiving decorations I had made. I remember nothing about the actual drive; I'm assuming I was asleep. I just know that I couldn't WAIT to get to Aunt Donna's house!!!

My dad's whole family was there (minus the Wisconsin contingency). Uncle Bill, Aunt Susie, Dad, Aunt Donna, Aunt Janine, Uncle Danny, Aunt Judy...and all of the cousins. (Only Clint and Larry were missing.) My Grandma and Grandpa Danley were also both there. My parents had an old reel to reel video camera, and I actually have a few precious minutes of footage from that day.

Why is this one of my favorite memories? I remember feeling loved by all of my extended family. I remember being caught up in the chaos of dinner preparations, football, hanging with the cousins. I also distinctly remember sitting on my Grandpa's lap that day after dinner. He told me about the day I was born. I was born in Anaheim, California on March 21, 1970. My grandpa was ill in Illinois on that day. I was born on his birthday, and because of that, he told me I was special to him! It made my day.

I didn't have very many meaningful interactions with Grandpa Danley. He died when I was just 11 years old. That brief interaction is one of the few memories I have of him. I'm OK with that. I believe that families are forever, and I believe that I will have many opportunities to sit down together and discuss whatever we want.

Here is an old picture that I have from that day. Unfortunately, it has become a bit water damaged over the 35 years that I've had it. When I see this picture, I look right past the yellow speckles. Grandpa is at the head of the "kids table." It means a lot that he chose to sit with his grandkids!Yes, that is me and my sister in matching Hee-Haw overalls! I'm not ashamed to admit that we used to watch Hee-Haw, and I actually liked it!!!

In this picture (looking at the camera) Billy and Scott. Grandpa at the head of the table. Backs to the camera: Kevin, Julie and me (with the long blonde hair).

I'm grateful for many things in my life, but above all, I'm most thankful for my family. Near or far, old or new in this world or into the next....I'm grateful for them all!

Our 9/11 Tradition

I've posted this in the past, but 9/11 is a special day of remembrance in our family. I'm a bit surprised that it is not a national day of remembrance, but I'm also encouraged to know that the events of 9/11 are being shared with a generation who is too young to remember the day from their own experiences.

This year I volunteered to give a presentation to the 6th Graders at Sandy Elementary about 9/11. I approached the presentation from a historical perspective, and I smattered a few of my personal memories of that day; I was in Manhattan on that unbelievable day. I spent hours and hours preparing a power point that I thought would be appropriate for 6th Graders and do accurate justice to the day. The theme of the presentation was "remembering the heroes of 9/11."

At the end of the presentation, I asked the children how they could remember 9/11. I was stunned with some of the answers they gave. They are SMART, THOUGHTFUL kids! Many of them have an adult in their life to has told them of their personal experience on 9/11. Many of them already have 9/11 traditions with their families. I was quite surprised that many of them wanted to share their thoughts. Perhaps I underestimate 6th Graders. I learned a lot from them.

In keeping with our family tradition, we all went to the Healing Field in Sandy, Utah (now our home town), and we spent some time reflecting on that day. The following are some of the pictures. With the exception of one of these pictures, Bradley was the designated photographer for the event, and he did a fabulous job!