Go Fly a Kite

Today was a classic windy March day here in Utah. As Dom and I were driving home, I saw a dad at our local middle school with his two small children coaching them on how to get their kites in the air. I LOVE TO FLY A KITE! I really do! I remember that we'd get about one new kite a year and it would last all of about 20 minutes. It usually took a nose dive..or the string broke...or it got wrapped around a power line.

As I mentioned my love for kite flying to Dom, she said, "I've never flown a kite."
I was stunned. My knee-jerk reaction was to blame that missed childhood experience on her mom...then I realized that since she's been with me since the age of 5...that it's MY fault. Boy, did I feel badly. We're going to remedy that situation ASAP. I'll be buying some kites so we have them on hand ready for the next good windy day.

What else have I missed from their childhood? I need to create a "must do during childhood list" because I'm running out of time!

For now, I'll try not to beat myself up too badly. I'll sleep tonight with the lyrics from a Mary Poppins song running through my head.

With tuppence for paper and strings,
you can have your own set of wings.
With your feet on the ground, you're a bird in flight!
With your fist holding tight, to the string of your kite!

Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!

Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" Really Got in My Head

I'm here in Washington State right now, and in the hotel gift shop, they are selling some ash from Mount St. Helens. I remember when she blew back in 1980. I was 10 years old. I remember that my mom thought she saw volcanic ash all the way in Pekin, Illinois. I have no idea what my mother was smoking that day, but I'm fairly certain that she didn't see volcanic ash.

In the early 80s, my dad lived in Lynnwood, Washington (just north of Seattle), and the summer after my 5th Grade year (in 1981), I visited my dad for several weeks. I wish I could tell you that I fell in love with Washington that year, but I didn't. It rained and rained and rained and rained some more.

That summer, a few things stick out in my memory. First, I discovered the Ouija board. For some unknown reason, my step-mother thought it was ok to leave an 11 year old and a 9 year old alone with a Ouija board all day long. Good heavens...the spirits we conjured up from the dead were mostly good ones...but a few still freak me out today.

Second, I remember that my sis Sarah (a toddler back then) tried to ingest two snails. She said, "Look, Daddy...rocks." (Open mouth, insert pudgy little fist full of slimy snail.) That got all of the adults' attention. She lived.

Third, I remember the day that I found illegal drugs at Fred Meyer.

I was taught all kinds of things in elementary school like "Stranger Danger," "Reading is FUNdamental," and "Take a Bite Out of Crime." In short, I was a walking source of soundbites on how to be an educated and aware citizen. So, the day I found drugs at Fred Meyer....I wasn't sure what to do. I was with my dad on some shopping errand, and my dad was probably meandering in the hardware section. Near an endcap, I found a small plastic bag about one inch by one inch full of what I was convinced was "coke." Mind you, I'd never seen "coke," but I had heard about it. Also, somewhere in the back of my 11 year old mind, all drugs came in little plastic bags. I found one of these bags on the floor of a Fred Meyer, and I was faced with a moral dilemma. If I took the small bag of drugs, that would be stealing. If I left the small bag of drugs, I would be helping someone else snort coke. This is really how it processed in my mind.

As I was struggling with this moral dilemma, I decided to tell my dad about the drugs I found on the floor of the Fred Meyer. He looked at the bag of coke, looked around and found the source of the drugs. There were these commemorative plaques for the Mount St. Helens explosion, and on the back of each plaque was a small sample of volcanic ash. The bag of coke I found on the floor was really a small bag of volcanic ash from Mount St. Helens.

Whew! Crisis averted. No one would die from snorting volcanic ash!

It's funny the things we learn as kids, how we incorporate them....and the odd reason that this memory has stuck with me for 30 years!

The gift store volcanic ash triggered this childhood memory. Yeah, I'm a freak!

Where does a genie live?

Tonight we were at dinner at Mimi's Cafe. I had a Cobb Salad with blue cheese dressing (on the side). They delivered it in a container that looked like this: Probably prompted by the shape of the container, Dom asked, "Where do Genie's live?"

I said, "In a bottle?" Because whenever I think of Genies, I think of "I Dream of Jeannie" and something that looks like this:Dom: "Not a bottle!" "Like that (pointing to the salad dressing thing)! A Genie lives in something that looks like a gravy boat." (still pointing at the salad dressing thing) Click HERE to see previous confusion related to a gravy boat.

Me: "Ah, yes, I genie can live in a lamp" (And why I'm pretending like genies exist is an entirely different matter).
She thought we meant a lamp like this:

Or perhaps this:

Since we have one of these up in our house from Thanksgiving to New Year's each year.

We then tried to convince her that something that looked like this:

is actually considered a "lamp."

Me: "Have you heard of the Parable of the 10 Virgins?"

Dom: "No."

Me: (Pointing at Dom) "One." (Then pointing at Elle) "Two."

We had an interesting conversation about oil lamps. For whatever reason, Dom hasn't seen an oil lamp (or if she has, she doesn't remember seeing one). We don't have them at home. My mom used to have them. We had the colored oils and everything. I don't know why we ever used those things. I can't imagine the fire hazard that they were. I don't remember seeing one after about 1979 (or about the time that we got our first CB Radio.....connection? correlative? hummm?)I LOVE having these times with the girls. I'm so glad that Dominique (at the age of 12) still asks questions like "Where does a genie live?" I love that it leads us down unexpected paths of conversation and exploration. When we eat at home, we actually sit around the table and talk; some of my best conversations with the kids happen there. Tonight it was at a restaurant table. This is the fun stuff of life.

Where does a genie live? Why of course, a genie lives in the imagination of a child.

Write down the funny things your kids say....

Our kids have said some hilarious things over the years. I used to keep a file with the things that they said, but somehow...somewhere...that file got deleted. So, I decided to do my best to search my memory and write them in cyber space. If you have kids...I totally encourage you to do this....you will forget. Also, the kids love hearing stories about themselves...no matter how crazy they are. Here are a few oldies but goodies.

Bradley-

A few years ago at Christmas, Dean needed a phillips screwdriver to dismantle our stocking holder. He sent Bradley to the tool box to look for one. Finding none there, Bradley went to the garage to look (we have more tools in the garage). He came back several minutes later exasperated claiming that he couldn't find a phillips screwdriver. I insisted that there was definitely one in the garage. He said something like, "I don't know what to tell you. I checked every single screwdriver we have. All of them say "Craftsman." Not one of them says, "Phillips"." I thought Dean was going to pass out he was laughing so hard!

Mariah-

This child is geographically challenged. No one believes me about this first story...and dang it, if I had my file, I could *prove* that I wrote it down when it happened. A few years ago (maybe three or four years ago), Mariah was doing an assignment/studying for a test related to capitals. She said, "Is Oregon the capital of Washington?" I'm assuming that she got Olympia confused with the other "O word" that came to mind. I said, "No, Oregon is a state." Mariah: "Yes, but is it the capital of Washington?"

Major parental fail. Again, Dean still thinks I got that one wrong, but I assure you, I got that story EXACTLY right. I was vindicated last year by Mariah's more recent display of geographical ineptitude. We were in San Francisco for a nice weekend, and we were down on the piers somewhere. Someone made a comment, and I said (sarcastically), "Welcome to California!" To which Mariah said, "We're not in California, we're in San Francisco." LONG pause from both me and Dean. Dean tells her that we are indeed in California. She insists that we are not. You'd think that she would have just believed us...my heavens I've been to California more than 150 times on business, and I've been to San Francisco at least 10 of those times. Dean calls her bluff saying, "Ok, Mariah...then what is the capital of San Francisco?" The wheels were spinning so quickly in her head that I thought her red hair might catch on FIRE. She suddenly realizes that San Francisco *is* a city, not a state. She had just not made the connection before that moment. The only other time she'd been to California was to go to Disney, and to her defense, the Bay Area is NOTHING like SoCal...but still....

I have since purchased a puzzle map of the US. I have no idea why she struggles so much with geography. I shudder to think of where she might place other NATIONS on a world map!


Elle-

Elle gives me so much content that I don't even know where to begin. One of my FAVORITE stories about Elle has to do with Aliens, Leprechauns and the Tooth Fairy. I know...it's hard to believe, but it's true.

We were at the post office one day, and when I got back into the van, Elle said, "Did the aliens invade Europe in 1944?"

Me: "What??? Do you mean Hitler? Did Hitler invade Europe in 1944?"

Elle...adamantly..."No, the aliens....did they invade Europe in 1944?"

Me: "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Elle: "It's in this book that I read."

Me: "And where did you get this book?"

Elle: "The school library." At this point in time I begin to panic. What kind of books do they have in the middle school library. Our school was built shortly after the invasion of Normandy...I'm thinking...maybe it's left over WWII propaganda literature.

Me: "Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but me and Dad are the Tooth Fairy, Leprechauns aren't really, and, no, aliens did not invade Europe in 1944."

Elle: "Oh, I totally believe in Leprechauns." This conversation has just taken an even more bizarre turn.

Me: "What in the world did you have for breakfast today, child?"

Elle: (not missing a beat and COMPLETELY serious): "Lucky Charms"

At that point in time Bradley, who was also in the car about peed his pants laughing so hard!

When I queried her about why she believed in Leprechauns she told me that she was at a friends' house recently, and a group of girls were sitting around a kitchen table. One of the girls scooted her chair out to go to the bathroom, but by the time she got back, the chair was back in place. Elle deduced that a Leprechaun had definitely pushed the chair back in. I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or to call a therapist. That girl was CONVINCED that Leprechauns existed and that they could move chairs!

Incidentally, I scrounged around in Elle's room until I found the book about aliens and 1944. She should have read the book....instead of just looking at the pictures. She must have concocted a story in her head based on her understanding of the photos. The book was about crop circles throughout the world. There must have been some reference to the 1940s. Other than that, there is no logical answer to her deduction of aliens invading Europe in 1944.

Dominique-

She can come up with some real doozies, too. Smaller kids sometimes hear a word and think they know the meaning. Then when they try to use the word in a sentence, it can be pretty funny. I found a few of Dom's bloops written in my journal today.

1) Pig's indigestion. She was referring to sausauge and the fact that pig's *intestines" are used to case sausage. It came out "pig's indigestion," though.

2) "Mr. Randall (her 4th grade teacher) would never take money from the Governor." I'm thinking....is there some state scandal going on with the Governor paying teachers off for some weird reason. I asked her to clarify.

She said, "Mr. Randall said that no matter how poor he got, he would never take money from the Governor."

Me: "Honey, do you mean the 'government'?"

Dom: "Yeah, that."

Me: "And how did this come up in your 4th Grade classroom today?"

Dom: "Oh, we were talking about welfare."

Me: "Ooooohhhhhh, reeeeaaaalllly?" I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but teachers have TREMENDOUS influence over what kids think. Dom would say nearly every day, "Mr. Randall said....." followed by some interesting tid-bit of information. Sometimes I think Mr. Randall crossed the line, but all in all...I think he did more good than harm. He got the kids thinking.

3) "Exculsive Branch of Government." You know where this one is going....she was learning about the *Executive Branch* of government....although, some might argue that *Exclusive Branch* is not a bad name for it!


Write down the funny things your kids say!!!

President Jimmy Carter, please pick up on line 4

I put this as my FB status, but it was such a hoot that it deserves a bit more explanation. Today is President's Day, and what do all good Americans do on President's Day? Well, of course, we shop. I stopped by my favorite ghetto Sears store in downtown SLC to buy some new shoes. I was completely sucked into the bowels of the store by enticements of "Up to 70% Off" signs wooing me deeper and deeper into the store.

I made my way to the women's shoe section when I hear, "President Obama, please dial" (then some number was stated). At first I thought that some smart ass clerk was just messing around. Then I hear a page for Presidents Bush and Ford. I thought that everyone at the Sears store had lost their damn minds!

I asked the shoe clerk what was going on. She told me that in honor of President's Day that the store management had taken on the names of the Presidents. I said, "How do you know who Obama is?" She said, "Oh, that's the store manager." She then explained that Bush was the assistant manager, Clinton was the manager below the assistant manager and so forth. Quite clever if you ask me.

A woman who over heard our conversation then said to the clerk, "So who are you, Nancy Reagan?"

As I bought 3 pair of shoes, two handbags, two dresses, 2 coats, four shirts and a pair of mittens, I enjoyed hearing the paging of our US Presidents. Hey, at least they were recognizing that the holiday actually had a meaning beyond that of exercising our capitalism.

I love my ghetto Sears.

Sounds like life to me...

I've been busy lately....really busy. And when I'm not busy doing things, I worry about all of the things I should be doing!

A few things on my list (and this is just in the past two weeks!):

• I'm in school full time this term (I'm deferring one project until summer, so that helps quite a bit.) I have class on Thursday nights from 2-5 the 6-9. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds, but it makes me feel silly for complaining about taking one class last term.
• I've been taking an active role in issues related to our local middle school. There is a proposal on the table to talk about adjusting or eliminating certain curriculum and programs, and I've been trying to work with my local school administrators and PTA to make sure our facts are straight and our opinions are submitted. Seriously, being engaged at this level takes a lot of time
• State government. The legislature is in session, and I spent one whole day last week up at the statehouse...and of course, I expressed my opinions about education to Utah lawmakers.
• Sweethearts Dance. I'm so grateful that Mariah wants Dean and me to be part of the dance day activities. This past Saturday we cooked breakfast for the gang then I sent them on a scavenger hunt. This seems like a small task, but it literally took my entire Saturday, and I spent a good three hours before that planning and shopping. Click here to read about it.
• I've gotten a new drivers license.
• We did our taxes.
• I've taken care of countless things that just need to get done.

Whew...see what I mean....
But even in these busy times...I have so much to be thankful for! Here are a few things that I've been especially grateful for these past two weeks:

• The world's best husband!
• The world's best kids! I love them so much! (and I freak out every time I realize how quickly they are growing up....)
• A job that keeps my mind active and allows me to use my talents
• Enough money to pay all of the bills and a little left over to save
• The fact that I can read. I love to read. It brings me a lot of joy, and I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read.
• Friends who listen to me bitch about life (and you know who you are ;-)
• Neighbors who willingly and lovingly take care of our girls on Thursday nights when I'm at school and Dean is working.

The second list is the most important list! For that, I'm truly grateful!

A Sweethearts Scavenger Hunt

Saturday was the Sweetheart's Dance at Jordan High School. Here in Utah, they kids make a whole day of any dance event....which is weird to me...but oh, well! Last year for Sweethearts, Dean and I made Mariah and her friends a Chinese themed dinner, and while dinner was finishing, I sent the kids on a scavenger hunt in our neighborhood. ...you know...find a house with Christmas lights still up...find a house with a 9 and a 5 in the address...that kind of thing.

This year, she asked me if I would make a "big" scavenger hunt that took a couple of hours. Challenge! I put on my creative hat and created what I think is a pretty good little scavenger hunt for Salt Lake City. They divided into two teams: boys vs girls. I had no idea it would take them 4 HOURS to do this scavenger hunt, but it did. They had to take pictures or video to provide evidence of their accomplishments.

Here is how it all turned out:

Fortitude, Integrity, Honor and Patience are their names. They live on one of the most important “hills” in the “capitol” city. They are white…and they are BIG…but they are only statues. Look for them on the east side of this most important structure where laws are made. When you find one…you must act like a lion tamer.

Garrett:

Mariah, Audrey and Jordynn (Not quite sure how this is lion taming...)

Now that you’ve tamed the lion, let’s visit someone who wears a different kind of hat. Isn’t life grand in America? Find a uniformed bellman at the only 5 Star Downtown hotel and take a picture! Bonus points if you can get the manager to appear in the picture with you!

Mariah with the Bellman (smiling):

Kalen with the Bellman (not quite sure what face that is...): He was Utah’s first territorial governor, and he had a house full of wives. He holds his hand out…some say with it reaching toward Zions Bank (for money). Find this iconic statute downtown and pose like Brother Brigham in the statue. Bonus points if you can get a random person on the street to pose with you!

Garrett posing like Brigham: The girls posing...but Brigham not in the statue!“I’ve got joy like a fountain!” Find the way…and it doesn’t really require gate…to this popular summertime fountain…where kids frolic and moms can rest from their shopping. You think you’re going in the fountain? Guess again. Get a bottle of water…and you guessed it…you become the fountain. Water must come out of your mouth for your fountain picture. Get creative!

Old timers still call it the Delta Center. In the 1990s, these two men lead the Jazz to back to back NBA finals against the Bulls (and unfortunately lost two years in a row). They both are immortalized in bronze outside of the house that Larry built. Strike a pose like one of the NBA hall of famers. You must be in front of their actual statue. Hint: props will help make this photo complete. BTW…the mailman is in town…and if you could get him in a picture with you, you win $100 (no joke)….it doesn’t have to be a picture at statue.

Mariah didn't *get* the reference to the "mailman" was about Karl Malone. So, they found a real mailman and got him to pose in the picture!

In 1997, lightening struck this tree, and people believe that what was left is an image of the Virgin Mary. For almost 14 years people have paid tribute to this tree in downtown Salt Lake City. Don’t been offensive (and offend those who actually believe that you can see the image of the Virgin Mary in the trunk of the tree), but get a picture of you and your party at the tree.

Notice how Garrett is solemn and respectful and Mariah "poses" next to the Virgin Mary tree! In the 2nd largest park in Salt Lake City, you’ll find a collection of over 400 species of birds. Pay your entrance fee and find at least 5 of the birds in the list.

At this stage of the scavenger hunt, the boys lied to the girls and told them that they were almost done. So the girls decided to take their time and have fun. I let the girls know that the boys had fibbed..and the girls took off to finish the hunt. Bald EagleSome birdFlamingos!!!

You don’t have to be an Einstein to understand political theory. At the Starbucks on 15th South and 15th East find a barista named Rosa. Ask her, “What are the three types of pluralism?” Write the answer on one of those Starbucks cup sleeves and bring it home with you.

My friend, Rosa, helped me out on this one! I don't have a picture to go with this....

It was 20 year ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play….and in 2004, the artist who did the original album cover for Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club band created a more modern version on a downtown wall. Find the mural called SLC Pepper, and when you take your picture, put yourself in the crowd…or pose as how you might fit in the crowd.

The girls got two homeless guys to be in the picture...then after the picture the guys asked them for money. *Classic*

What is the greatest university in the state? While the U, of course. In the plaza in front of the Marriott Library (at the U) build a human pyramid…and of course…the person on top should somehow show that you’re pyramid is for the U! Bonus if you can get U of U students to help you and/or be in your picture.

The guy in the pic recruited all of the by-standers to be in the pic. But....they boys got a girl to be on top!!!

They had SO MUCH FUN! I asked my neighbors, Kim and Doreen to judge and distribute the prizes. The prizes were Chili's gift cards...and conveniently, that is where they had dinner that night. I have no idea how I will top this next year!

Click >>HERE<< to see the scavenger hunt list.