When to persist and when to throw in the towel....

I am not a quitter. I typically finish what I begin, and I typically don't begin something unless I intend on finishing. I am a firm believer that the minute you give yourself an "out" that you will probably take it. This applies to all areas of my life.

Some of the biggest battles we've had with our kids revolves around trying to teach them that you make a commitment and stick to it....no matter what it is...from the seemingly small promises to be somewhere at a certain time to the bigger commitments that involve others (like a team sport commitment). Can I tell you that we have had knock down, screaming matches over these kinds of issues?

It usually goes something like this.....

Random Davis Kid (RDK)...."But I don't want to do it anymore"
Wendy: But you committed.
RDK: But I don't like it.
Wendy: Life is hard. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't like because we said we would.
RDK: But you can't "make me."

(This one always is tricky...it is a true statement that I cannot "make" a child do anything. I can, however, make life uncomfortable....)

Wendy: That is true, but if you don't do X, you don't get Y.
RDK...typically motivated by whatever the Y is will begin a negotiation with me.

The things they begin and want to quit are big things....band, a sports team, a type of lesson that we pay for. Lately, I've had several fits with Elle who "doesn't want to do band anymore." This child is SUPER talented on her horn. She plays clarinet, and she's recently (within the last 6 months) picked up the Saxophone. She's diligent, talented and quite good. Stupid teenage distractions get in the way. She wants to drop band to take....wait for it....Teen Living....this class which is essentially a home-ec class all trumped up and modernized. She wants to take it because "all of her friends are taking it."

Yes, you've guessed it, I am guilty of using the cliche about the bridge, jumping off of it...and what all of your other friends may/may not be doing.

This is not the first time that she has wanted to quit band. There are always tears...and always a few months later a shameless declaration from her saying something like, "I love band." Me, trying to withhold any smug look provides reassuring words of pride in her accomplishment. This time, she's been more creative than normal. She's started to figure me out. That's a dangerous position for me to be in.

Tonight she said, "I know you will probably say, 'No,' but will you just listen."
Me: Waiting
Elle: So, you know how I want to drop band. What if I drop band and take Speech and Debate.
Me: I didn't fall for it.

I told her that she could take Speech and Debate next year as a sophomore but that she couldn't drop band.

Anyone else struggle with this? I want her to do what she wants to do, but I want her to finish out a commitment. I also worry that if they "quit" certain things that they will forever regret it. It's a tricky business this parenting game. A few of my kids have already quit activities, and I know that they will regret it someday. *Sigh* To quote and RDK, I can't "make" them.

Our Thanksgiving Day

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year! The food was yummy, the family was all there, the table was beautiful....it was really, really nice. Here are some shots from our day.

Below: Elle beside her beautifully set table.

One of our three beautiful flower arrangements by the world's best florist, Karlie!

Elle used some little (fake) apples with stickers to create place setting "cards."

Just can't get enough pics of beautiful flowers!

Another angle of the table....

I was mostly behind the camera...but in the one pic of me, I'm fondling the milk?

Adam carving the turkey....and can I tell you that the turkey was scrum-diddley-umptious!

The whole gang: Dean, Carrie, Adam, Elle, Elise, Bradley, Mariah, Dominique and Garrett

Ring around the center island...which was laden with the eats...

Elise and Bradley

Garrett and Mariah...just so you know...he is seriously one of the nicest kids...but he doesn't like to smile in pictures! I'll get him next time!

Carrie and Adam...Carrie made her grandma's sweet potatoes and can I say...MEGA YUM!

What a great day! We're so blessed. We ate until we were seriously stuffed. The kids played Wii and watched movies and had a great time. Dean and I went to take a nap, and I paid Elle $20 to clean the kitchen. She's my go-to girl, and she can clean it SPOTLESS. It was a very good day!

I'm so proud of Elle!

For as long as I can remember, Elle has been our "go to" person in the kitchen. She loves to learn. She loves to help. And she follows directions to a "T." She also takes great satisfaction in a job well done.

One of the things that she has learned to do over the years is set a beautiful table. Sometimes she'll surprise me on a Sunday evening and set "her table" with pretty dishes, napkins and candles. As part of her Young Women's goals, she did a special project this Thanksgiving. This is what it says in the Young Women's personal progress manual: "Develop a skill you could use in your future home, such as cooking, sewing, making repairs, organizing, or designing. Teach that skill to someone, and explain how establishing a house of order (see D&C 109:8) is one of your divine roles."

I thought, "She's developed homemaking skills, now we just need to "teach that skill to someone." So, I got the idea to do mini-video segments of her planning to decorate the table and executing on the plan.

Here is our video journal. (Sometimes she is difficult to understand...I could get her to slow down OR enunciate...not both at the same time, but for the most part, I think she is understandable).

It is difficult to understand this video. She says, "I have a blank slate" (referencing the table). She says that her first tip is to not take a table from the church unless you have permission from the Bishop (which we did). That's why there was the close up of the "Property of" on the table."

Wasn't that fun!?! I'm so proud of her for all of her hard work and her willingness to do this project. It is not easy for anyone to demo in front of the camera as she did (trust me, I know! I'm a professional presenter!) I'm also proud of how much she learns about things around the house. All of the kids "know" how to clean, for example. (Not that they do it, but they do know how.) They know how to do their laundry. They know how to paint a room. They know how to fix small household appliances.

It sounds so cliche, but "they grow up so fast!" I worry that I haven't taught them enough! Moments like this make me proud that they do "know" how to do things...even if they don't act like it all the time.

Stay tuned for a video blog from Dominique. We taught her how to paint her room this summer....and let's just say that it took more gallons of BRIGHT YELLOW paint than anyone could have ever imagined! She is not nearly as thrilled to do video blogs, but she'll warm up to it!

I am thankful for....

This was stream of consciousness. I know that I have left many people and things out. Thankfully, I have tomorrow to make right it right! I have so many people, circumstances and things to be thankful for! I am so blessed!

My faith in God
My belief in Christ
My US citizenship
My family
My husband (yes, I know he is family, but he is special family, so I single him out)
(Now that I got the whole God, country, family thing out of the way, I can be more shallow.)
My job
My intellect
My ability to reason
The fact that I can read
Warm blankets and my own bed
HDTV
The Internet
Technology that allows me to work from home
Technology that allows me to stay connected to my kids, friends and family
Three bathrooms in one house
Our home
Our neighbors (at least most of them)
Our vehicles that are running well and are almost paid off
Enough food to eat
Enough food to share with those who don't have quite as much
A beautiful view of the mountains from my master bedroom
Pretty plates that we use only at Thanksgiving
Fresh flower arrangements
Online shopping
McDonald's (yes, I AM thankful for McDonald's...I've been there more than any other single restaurant in my whole life)
Pictures of our family, friends and the most important parts of our life
Pedicures and Massages
My DVR
Dominique's sense of humor
Elle's annoying laugh (because it means she's happy)
Mariah's stubbornness....because it means she's standing her ground for what she believes/thinks
Dean's ability to forgive others, especially me
Bradley's faith (that is most of the time buried deep in him)
The sound of great music
The blessings of the spirit
That I'm unconditionally loved by many
That I know this earthly life is only temporal and that there is a much greater plan for me.

BOM Challenge

Today Elle, Dominique and I began reading the Book of Mormon from page 1. As part of their Young Women's goals, they need to read it in its entirety. It's a daunting task. I've read it no less than 7 times from cover to cover. On two occasions, I read it in 7 days. It was about a 3 hour a day commitment, but it was such a sense of accomplishment.

I don't know if you've ever tried to sit down and read the scriptures (any scriptures) from cover to cover, but it's not easy. In the course of my life time, I've read the Old and New Testament in their entirety, but only once have I read the NT from cover to cover.

We were challenged in Stake Conference so just READ the Book of Mormon...not necessarily finish it by February (when we have our next conference). So, since I have three solid weeks of vacation between now and the end of the year (as do the girls), I asked them if they would be up to the challenge. They were a bit hesitant at first, but I threw in a new snuggie for each of us and the promise of hot chocolate during marathon reading sessions. They agreed.

Today we read for TWO and a HALF HOURS....in two separate reading sessions. Do you know how hard that is for a 14 and a 12 year old? We read out loud and take turns. We hit our goal of 40 pages. I'm so proud of them. It won't be easy, but it will be a good goal to work on. I've organized it so that we don't read EVERY day during our vacation. I've broken it into 13 days. Only 12 more to go.

I'm confident that we can meet this goal, and I know that they'll be SO PROUD of themselves when they've done it.

What will you challenge yourself to do? Is there a project that you've been wanting to do? Got a book in you that you've been meaning to write? I'm a big believer that time-sensitive goals are great motivators! Please share if you have any ideas for your next "big thing."

Top 10 Books....

that I've read in the last few years that have left an impression on me.

I realize that reading preferences are very personal, and what resonates with me will not necessarily resonate with you. So, I don't consider these recommendations necessarily....just books that I really enjoyed. They are in no particular order.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson (Fiction)
Under the Dome by Stephen King (Sci-Fi)
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (Historical Fiction)
World without End by Ken Follett (Historical Fiction)
The Other Boelyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory (Historical Fiction)
Empire of Liberty by Gordon Wood (History, Non-fiction)
Hunger Games (the entire series)by Suzanne Collins (Teen Sci-Fi)
The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff (Historical Fiction)
Crisis of the House Divided by Harry Jaffa (History/Political Science, non-fiction)
She Taught Me to Eat Artichokes by Mary Kay Shanley (Children's book)

Remember "Reading is FUNdamental" ;o)

Please share a favorite title if you think I might enjoy; I'm always looking for my next great read!

The best part of a photo shoot....

I asked my friend, Daisy, if I could use these pictures from our photo shoot. With her permission, I wanted to share a few of them with you!

We took our pictures on a rainy Saturday, and we just happened to find the two hours of the day when the rain had dissipated. The leaves at the location were simply gorgeous! They were gently falling off of the trees, and honestly, it was just idyllic. I had the brainiac idea that if we could get a picture with the leaves falling in the background that it would look really cool....so Dean indulged the request, and Daisy took a bunch of pictures.

For this first attempt, he wadded up some leaves and kind of threw them at us. This is how those pictures turned out...
Clearly Elle and I are amused. Having wet leaves thrown at us was not really the effect I was going for. Here's another one where we are still laughing about it...The look on Mariah's face is classic. Next, Dean got the idea to get in the tree and "shake the leaves on us" to create the effect that I was looking for. Here is a picture of Dean in the tree.
Remember....it had been raining...so as soon as he started shaking the tree, it was really obvious that this was a bad idea. Leaves fell...and so did the left over raindrops.
This is me telling everyone to power through it and smile for the camera. Elle with closed eyes was not helpful...Riah doesn't want to get wet, and Dom just thinks it's all funny.
This is a close as we got to a picture with falling leaves. Major fail for a picture taking moment...and it definitely looked like we were trying too hard. Oh well! It was probably the most fun we had on the shoot, and it is definitely the part we will remember.