Being a parent is hard....

Dean and I have had some parenting trials as of late. The details are not too important, but what is important is that together we've worked through the worst of it. I love my husband, and I'm so grateful that he is a perfect compliment to me!

I think being a parent is hard no matter what. I think being a step-parent is complicated. I think that being a kid is hard, and I think that being a step-kid is complicated. Parents and children both have trials, and at any one point in time one or the other thinks their issues are worse than the other.

As the kids get older, they want more "freedom." I've struggled with that word and the concept as of late. As I told the oldest one, "you've always been in control, you just don't realize it." Our choices are directly related to "freedom" in our house. I could spend all day every day explaining that concept, but instead, I spend most days repeating myself. *Heavy sigh.*

I have the foresight to know that this time in our lives won't last forever. Part of me is excited for the teenage years to pass quickly. Another part of me knows that once they're out of the house that things will never be the same. It's a mixed bag. Being a parent is hard.

The only thing I ask of others...neighbors, friends, folks at church and our family members....is please do not tell my kids that what they did "could be worse." Please don't marginalize what we are trying to do as parents by saying, "You only took the car for a joy ride." "A tattoo is not that big of a deal." "At least you're not doing drugs." "Sure, the skirt is short, but at least you're going to church."

Please, keep your opinions to yourself! Let us parent based on our principles, values and choices. I know that people are sometimes trying to help, but no one knows our kids better than we do. No one knows how much time and effort we have put into establishing values. No one know how many battles we fight and the compromises we already make with our kids. No one knows the entire story.

The only thing I ask is that outsiders support the parents. I know that folks are well intended, but I would ask kindly that you not state your opinions to my children. It interferes with what we are trying to accomplish as parents, and in the end, it causes more issues.

To my friends who read my blog...none of you are "those people." I'm just throwing this out into the universe in the hopes that folks will think twice before they tell a kid that their parents have overreacted to a particular event or behavior.

When I was a kid, my mom had this record of children's songs. I still remember the words to the song, "Be kind to your parents." I thought for the longest time that I might have made this song up because I could never find it. Thanks to google and itunes, I've found this song from my childhood. It's a perfect reminder for kids and their parents.

Be kind to your parents, though they don't deserve it
Remember the grown-up, a difficult stage of life
They're apt to be nervous and over-excited
Confused by their daily storm and strife
So keep in mind though it seems hard I know
Parents were children long ago. Incredible!!
So treat them with patience and kind understanding
Despite of all the foolish things they do
Some day you might wake up and find you're a parent too

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I still remember this song from when I was 4 or 5. Kids remember things from their youth...I want mine to remember that my friends, neighbors, family and church members were all on the same page as their parents!

Thank you!!!